I do realised that my blog is called Suz’s money life. But I seldom write posts about life. So here goes.
‘Life’s bitch and then you die’ sounds like a bleak perspective that life is nothing but suffering, with the only escape being death. But no, that’s not what my life is about.
When I was younger, I would complain a lot about how my tough my life was. I mean, I live in Singapore, how tough can life be? Exactly, not tough at all. It’s all mental.
I used to be a very negative person at work. Every day after work, I would reach home, complain to my husband about how one of my co-worker is so incompetent etc… You get the drill.
I’m sure many of you did that at some point in your life, or you are still doing it now. And having a group of co-workers who shares the same view just makes it worse. You discuss and agree with each other, and eventually it becomes a self fulling prophecy of negativity and toxicity.
Eventually, my husband was like, why don’t you get a new job, if you are so unhappy about it. He probably got tired of hearing me bitch about work. Yea true, why didn’t I get a new job?
This was the moment where you imagine a dog at a gate barking fiercely at another dog. And when the the gate is opened, the dog turn meek. I was that dog.
I was actually quite happy with where I am working, my job scope and my pay at that time. I just didn’t understand why the company would let such an incompetent person stay on. And that was infuriating me.
I stepped back, thought about it. Is this person preventing me from doing my work because of her incompetency? No. Am I not getting a pay raise because of her? No. Then why am I letting the person affect my mood? All I hear was crickets…
On top of that, this person was genuinely nice to me.
I can’t believe the amount of time and mental energy I’ve wasted on this. I was so consumed by her incompetency even though it did not affect me in anyway.
From then on, my attitude in life is, as long as what others do doesn’t affect me, I should not be bothered by it. By this, I mean things that aren’t morally or ethically wrong.
With me adopting this attitude, my husband became happier too. 😀
Having said that, it doesn’t mean that I don’t get bogged down by the negatives in life. Asking the 3 Whys is a technique that I used when something is bothering me. Here’s an example:
me: Argh! I hate my life!
me2: Why do you hate your life?
me: I’m struggling to make ends meet.
me2: Why is that so?
me: My take home pay is just not enough to cover my bills
me2: Why is your pay not enough?
me: I recently bought a car, and it just blew up my budget. I just don’t have enough to spend on other things.
This is a simplistic example, you can keep on asking why to peel off the layers. But usually by the 3rd why, you will uncover the real reason of why something is making you unhappy. You can then choose to work on it, to make your life better.
If you don’t want to work on something so heavy, then shift your thoughts, by practicing gratitude. This will not solve the problem you have initially. But sometimes, it may just be that little positivity you need in your life to move things around.
In my twenties, I get a lot of wedding invitations. In my thirties, baby full month invites. And as I hit my forties, unfortunately, I have attended more funerals and wakes than I’ve ever had. It’s sobering call that life eventually comes to an end.
You might think that you are young, still a long way before before I die. That’s what I thought too in my twenties and thirties. But I have seen 2 ex-co worker who passed on in their thirties and early forties. Both were healthy. One passed away while at the gym, and another collapsed while running.
Time is a limited asset. Don’t waste it on things that don’t matter. Tell me 1 + 1 = 5 and I will gladly agree with you.
Life is a journey. And the end destination for everyone is death. I choose to to embrace life, to appreciate all things no matter how small during this journey. What about you?
